The root of the divorce rate is the ability of women to leave
The shift of the ideology of romance —> relationships have shifted from an economic institution to an institution based on love / sex / identity
For the first time the survival of the family is dependent on the happiness of the couple
Couples therapy is a place where you process identity
Couples therapy is maintenance it is not just somewhere you go when you’re in ruin
Being healthy isn’t just not being sick. You get a lot of your health from things you do in every day life.
The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life
We have shifted from a structure society to a network society, commitments are much more fluid. Everything is up fo negotiation. All previous rights and roles now hinge on conversation rather than rules
What is the difference between surviving and thriving
There is no worse loneliness than the one you feel next to the person you are supposed to feel connected with
There is no greater power than voluntary surrender
We are prone to put everything in terms of ourselves. Therapy is about changing your story. You can’t change your past
We are attracted to confidence because it gives us space to desire. To see our partner in their element. It sparks curiosity and exploration of the unknown.
There is the flip side of this where people feel deprived of what their partner offers to her kids / patients etc. two sides of the same coin
Most people cheat because it makes them feel alive. They also reorganize people's prioritize them, jolt them back to life.
People don't want to leave the person they are with, they want to leave the person they have become.
You will have multiple relationships in your life, if your lucky, it will be with the same person
You are not free from trauma until you can play again