by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Happiness is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivate and defended privately by each person
People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy
Ask yourself if you are happy and you cease to be so // John Stuart Mill
Don't aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued, it must ensue...as the unintended side effect of one's peroneal dedication to a course greater than oneself // Viktor Frankl
In the long run optimal experiences add up to a sense of mastery—or perhaps better a sense of participation in determining the content of life—that comes as close to what is usually meant by happiness as anything else we can conceivably imagine
Agency is a precursor of happiness, no one gains true lasting fulfillment by being given things, one must work and feel a sense of accomplishments from self-imposed forces accumulated over time
Optimal experience depends on the ability to control what happens in consciousness moment by moment, each person has to achieve it on the basis of individual efforts and creativity
Only direct control of experience, the ability to derive moment by moment enjoyment from everything we do can overcome the obstacles to fulfillment
“The universe is not hostile nor yet is it friendly. It is simply indifferent”
There is no problem inherent in the escalation of our goals as long as we enjoy the struggle along the way. When we become too fixated on the outcome we lose out on the contentment of life
As people move through life, passion from the hopeful ignorance of youth into sobering adulthood, they sooner or later face an increasingly nagging question: “is this all there is?”
Better to face the facts than become a statistic
Your brain can process 110 megabits of information, 1 person talking is 60 so you can't physically process more than 2 people talking at once
To overcome the anxieties and depressions of contemporary life, individuals must become independent of the social environment to the degree they no longer respond exclusively in terms of its rewards and punishments. To achieve such autonomy a person needs to learn how to provide rewards to himself. He has to develop the ability to find enjoyment and purpose regardless of the circumstances. This challenge is both easier and more difficult than it sounds: easier because the ability to do so is entirely within each person's hands; difficult because it requires a discipline and perseverance that are relatively rare in any era, and perhaps especially in the present. And before all else, achieving control over experience requires a drastic change in attitude about what is important and what is not.
Civilization is built on the repression of individual desires—socialization is vital
The most effective form of socialization is achieved when people identify so thoroughly with the social order that they no longer can imagine themselves breaking any of its rules.
It is important to realize that seeking pleasure is a reflex response built into our genes for the preservation of the species, not for the purpose of our own personal advantage